I was informed that this coming May, June and July Bang Long and Kak Chik will be celebrating the wedding of their daughter and sons, Ayu, Shukri and Shahir...Congratulations!! I will miss Ayu's wedding but I do hope they will post the pictures in Laman BKK. Insya Allah, I will be able to attend Shukri and Shahir ceremony (I will be going home for good end of June).
To my niece and nephews, you will step into new life. Before getting married, all you have to think off is yourself - making decisions, going shopping or travelling. In other words everything you do only by yourself and for your own good. After marriage your life will be changed - whatever you do have to take into account your beloved spouse and children and not to forget the in-laws (Remember: you are not only getting married to your spouse but also his/her family!).
In marriage, sharing and understanding are also as important as communication and helping each other. I still remember after my wedding ceremony at Malacca, while we were sorting up the dishes to put back in the store, one of our neighbours, (we called her Mak Aji Eton) advised us,"hidup suami isteri ni kena tolong menolong, faham-memahami..." Helping each other, mutual understanding...how to do that if you are not communicating and sharing with your spouse? For husbands, its not lowering your status as husband if you confide your problems with your wife be it your personal, job related, etc, and for wife it will not affect your pride to share with your husband, we are all human beings, we do make mistakes. Sharing and communicating each other help to lessen our burden. Some people may say they don't want to trouble and burden their spouse with their problems, without realising not doing so they actually risk their marriage.
Imagine: You have problem at work place, may be a conflict with your colleague, you not feeling good to go to the office, your job performance going down, your boss questioned you, you get irritated more and more, unconsciously you bring this matter into your family, you become gloomy, quiet, less interaction with your spouse, easily get angry and so on......your spouse getting irritated too, he/she tries to help you, but you don't want to share your problem, not even try to communicate. The spouse tries to be patient but then, BANG, exploded!! Cannot carry on anymore...!! Don't let this happen in your marriage, even simple things you share what more enormous matters. At one point, a husband or a wife often telling themselves that they know and understand their partner very well. Some may say that they always be frank to each other, but what always happen is that they conceal their true feelings. Thus, in order to get to know your spouse better you have to share your likes and dislikes whenever necessary.
Ayu, Shukri, Shahir and all those who want to get married and already get married and to me myself, let us follow the examples given by our Prophet Muhammad SAW and his wives..tender loving, mutual understanding, sharing, communicate, cooperate, entertain each other, doing activities together...and if you have children pay attention to them in every aspects...
